i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.