yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.