she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.