Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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