His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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