I cockslap morals
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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