covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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