now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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