Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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