Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
