yea but for you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.