direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...