Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.