I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?