Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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