Fuck appropriateness.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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