He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
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Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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