Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.