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So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
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