I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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