Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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