Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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