it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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