I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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