Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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