So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
