Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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