I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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