not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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