It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever