Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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