Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably