I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
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HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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