After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?