Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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