I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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