i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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