I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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