ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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