I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize