She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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