Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote

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  (914): I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote http://tfl.nu/0x07
  Replies (37) Good night (3536) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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  (208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew
  Replies (23) Good night (4047) Bad night (1788) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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  (918): Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one http://tfl.nu/ihc6
  Replies (22) Good night (872) Bad night (11106) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.

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  (403): we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now. http://tfl.nu/goi4
  Replies (16) Good night (5598) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.

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  (562): I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible. http://tfl.nu/uxem
  Replies (11) Good night (5348) Bad night (869)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4084) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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  (816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (950) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.

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  (631): I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation. http://tfl.nu/bilr
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.

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  (716): I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like. http://tfl.nu/y2at
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.

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  (775): I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender. http://tfl.nu/0llk
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?

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  (902): Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/n34x
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.

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  (240): The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off. (301): Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes. http://tfl.nu/qb2k
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (141)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.

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  (713): It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards. http://tfl.nu/tzzb
  Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?

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  (813): I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight? http://tfl.nu/eoxv
  Replies (14) Good night (1168) Bad night (117) Order T-Shirt

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