i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?