dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"