who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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