So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
