you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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