"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
