they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
