i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize