I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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