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Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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