i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic