I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
