Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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