one two three fourrrrnication!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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