Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
