to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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