Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
